I need to rant...

I have lost my cooking mojo.
I only feel like ordering in or just cooking up a frozen pizza.
I've planned on making Tyler Florence's Ultimate Spaghetti Carbonara tonight, and I don't even feel like putting it together!  Bacon and eggs pasta?  What could be easier?
I really don't get it...is it depression?  I feel tired and I was feeling poorly end of last week, my stomach was betraying me (I'll get you stomach! <--see me shaking a fist at my belly).  I don't even want to get up earlier than usual tomorrow and get those maple apple bacon donuts...:-((. sniff...
I think I'm pissed off at being obese.  There, I said it.  But really, I'm not pissed about being obese, I'm more pissed at the way other people think that I shouldn't be as heavy as I am.  I'm not too sad about being a full-full-figured woman.  I like keeping my weight up with good food and good wine.
I'm pissed about Weight Watchers.  I know that I if I do the program (oops, slipped into a 12-step mantra) I will lose weight, but I refuse, refuse to put anything in my mouth with the words non-fat on the label.  I think they fail to realize that anything that is labeled "non-fat" has a higher sugar content and what diabetic needs that?  I know I can keep the full fat cheese and just figure it into my points for the day.  Right now, it sounds like much too much work to count points and plan meals in advance.  I used to do it, but was I really happy doing it?  NO!  I do like losing weight, but lets face it, I'm lazy and want to wake up 20lbs lighter tomorrow just because that is my intention and it's a good one! Shit!  I'm okay with who I am right now and the way I look...is that so wrong?
It has been suggested by those closest to me (and you know who you are) that I should get a gastric bypass procedure.  Really?  and then what?  I'd have to stop going out to wonderful dinners with you and stop experiencing incredible foods you cook because I can only eat a 1/4 cup of food!
You know what that will lead to other than smaller jean sizes?  Severe depression and probably suicide.
But I would be thinner....